guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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