You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
should my penis look like a turkey
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
