Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
