sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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