I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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