Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
this hospital has no fireball
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
