Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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