I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Someone shattered a urinal.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
