dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize