Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have feelings that need drinking.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
