they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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