hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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