yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
