Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
