I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
