i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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