We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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