No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
