Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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