i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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