I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
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This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize