Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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