I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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