I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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