So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
