she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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