So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
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