well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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