Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
