And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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