It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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