and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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