'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
