Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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