Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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