I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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