are you still at the devil's house?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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