I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
