my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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