Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Someone shattered a urinal.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize