PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
