For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
