OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
