hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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