would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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