scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i drank out of a bidet.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
