Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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