I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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