So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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