At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
