Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
