sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
