Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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