Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
