You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
