What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
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That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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