Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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