conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
